Your friendships are ruining your business

Time to cut some bitches off

I recently thought about those years before I hit my first big success milestone and what I think made that time so challenging for me.

In hindsight, a huge reason for my struggle was simple: I was dreadfully surrounded by the wrong people. Family, friends, friends of friends, friends of family — I was cornered. If you ever wondered why your business isn’t taking off the way it should, consider this: your circle could be the problem.

I had grown used to the constant barrage of disparaging comments made about both my brand and my ambitions. Some were bold and direct—others, more passive, and undermining. The early days of my career were like trying to build a sandcastle amongst a relentless swarm of bees. I’m jarred by the fact that I once thought it normal to have to push past that level of noise from those closest to you.

But life, in its inexorable way, has a way of bringing the lesson home.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

This was always a quote that once struck me as a no-brained motivational cliché — something best left in the realm of cheesy Instagram memes. But building The Established forced me to see the truth in it. Building a business is one of the most honest reflections of who you are in the sense that, the more self-actualized and secure you are in your identity, the more you’re likely to achieve. On the more emotional side of the spectrum, it harshly unearths all your personal weaknesses and blind spots.

My business loudly called my community into question.

The Silent Sabotage of Poor Friendship

By the time I launched The Established, I had long since developed a penchant for putting myself into some pretty bizarre friendships. I was the girl in middle school who would sit with the weird kid at lunch until some cool girls would come and pull me from the table.