This Week's Dispatch

Live from Philly

Currently writing this week’s piece out of the La Colombe in Bryn Mawr where I used to come and create my shitty Facebook ads. I’m glad I had the ignorance and confidence to run them anyway, not that my work was that much worse than any Ads Manager I’ve hired.

Would it even be my life if some incredibly good news weren’t wrapped up in a crisis? While evacuating the LA fires and scrambling to leave town, I barely had a moment to process the milestone of publishing my first essay post-founder pivot.

This month, Beauty Independent republished my piece on Why I Shut Down My Award-Winning Beauty Brand. In it, I referenced my “mind movie,” a visualization practice that’s become my constant companion into 2025. Watching my aspirations unfold so rapidly and effortlessly only further affirms its power—though I never really needed the proof. I swear, sometimes, all you have to do is decide something is for you, and the path will appear.

After publishing the piece, I felt a deep sense of closure, as if I’d finally put that chapter of my life to rest. I didn’t care how many people read it; I just needed the release. Still, I’m incredibly grateful that my words have resonated with so many and that they’ve empowered others to embrace their own pivots.

With that story told, I now feel ready to fully step into the next stage of my life.

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The 2 AM escape from LA during the wildfires was a test of my mental reserves. The 101 was hauntingly empty, with the Santa Ana winds throwing up ash and dust against the windshield. To the driver’s side was a horrifying sight—the fires were tearing through Altadena, burning orange against the night sky. Dozens of overturned 18-wheelers littered the highway, casualties of the winds they couldn’t withstand.

It felt very dystopian, something I couldn’t believe I was living through in real time. I had never seen tumbleweed before that night. It’s quite creepy—it moves across the road with a sense of intelligence, as if it knows exactly where it’s going.

Pray for LA. Whatever you see on social media or in the news, it’s infinitely worse IRL. I’m so sick of the conspiracy theories. “Do you think somebody started them?” “Diddy!” “Ally Carter!” Like shut THE FUCK up, bro.

Anyway, 24 hours later, I arrived at a small-town airport. I was so emotionally spent that when the check-in guy asked me how I was doing, I just started crying, which scored me a free upgrade to first class. It was genuine in the moment, but now that I know I can work that kind of magic, I might be tempted to shed a few with every upcoming trip.

Not all men!

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Moments like this really reveal to you your own priorities. In my haste, I grabbed three pairs of Louboutins, a pair of Fendi pumps, a couple of bodysuits and other cozy essentials, some photos, a childhood scrapbook, and my violin that I’ve had since girlhood. It has a one-piece back, carved from a single piece of wood, which makes it very rare and special (something I don’t think my mom realized when she purchased it). It’s with me now at my mom’s in Philly, where I think it’ll stay, probably until I get married. I don’t really play much anymore, but from time to time I do get the urge.

Maybe I’ll play a little doo-hickey for her tomorrow so she sees that those 14 years of private lessons haven’t completely gone to shit LOL.

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Reliving my old route to the post office

It’s freezing back on the East Coast! Back in LA I just grabbed what I could before my power went out again — unfortunately that didn’t include an assortment of cold weather gear.

Thank God my mom owns 75 pairs of Uggs and a winter coat archive that before now, I found excessive and mostly unnecessary.

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And just like that, I’ve come full circle. I really need to be mindful of my own power when I’m manifesting. My journal notes from the recent weeks are filled with me longing for an East Coast winter, a Philly happy hour, good food again (for once), and the time to take a writing sabbatical—shut my mouth wide open.

Funny thing about the universe: we don’t always get to determine the how.

It’s wild, given the circumstances, but I’m mostly happy to be back.

My former third floor bedroom has since been overtaken with baby clothes and knick knacks for my niece and nephew so I’ve been relegated to the second-floor middle room. Still it’s grounding to be so up close to the birthplace of so many dreams, delusions, and stress-filled brain dumps.

I’ve found myself reflecting a lot on the difference between who I was then five years ago versus who I am today. The biggest shift I’ve noticed is that now I let the work come when it’s ready, and I’ve stopped letting the pressure to always be “doing” define my sense of self.

I accept that my life and my career can simply balance out this easily.

As I embrace this version of myself more each day, I’m realizing that the more I lean into what feels right, the faster and more consistently I’m rewarded.

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I’m going to share a bit about what has empowered me to land here.

I have a personal belief that the world is in such a state of disarray and humans are in such a state of chronic unhappiness because there are simply too many people following a singular framework. The world doesn’t require more of the same — those needs have already been met. So many people are chasing the same things and following the same formulas, when the truth is, we all came here with a unique purpose — and the urge to walk a well-worn path is often at odds with our true calling.

The way I see it, the world is in a great reset because there’s simply too many people leaning one way. It’s like having 20 kids on one side of the see-saw and 2 on the other—there’s a great imbalance.

Sometimes being the first one to do something discourages our faith in it. I’d argue that’s an indication that’s exactly what you need to be doing! Embrace the power in doing things a new way—and realize that not everything has to have your name on it.

Radical acts of change are a catalyst for growth, and you won’t get far by leading inorganically.

It’s very cosmic.

You’re here on this earth at this specific time because someone out there needs what you uniquely have to offer — also at this specific time.

When you lean into your purpose instead of chasing someone else’s version of it, you begin to attract the people, opportunities, and energy that are meant for you. But when we ignore that and try to fit into the more standard ways of achieving success—ways we’ve seen others succeed—we end up falling short. Why? Because those paths have already been walked. As a collective, we need to stop swimming against the current of our intuition and unique design. What’s been done is no longer any good.

I think a lot of Doechii as a public example.

Do it weird!

This realization has empowered me to dig deeper into my own journey with more ease. Every time I’ve leaned into what felt uniquely mine—even if it went against my own conventions—it’s opened doors. When I’m not feeling it, I don’t force it. When I get that tickle of an idea in my lower belly, I take action.

And the more I embrace that, the more I see that the anxiety of taking action for action’s sake really doesn’t get me any further.

I really hope this is helpful to you on your success journey.

If you’re in Philly, let’s connect over a dish or a drink. Happy to be back, for now.

xox,

Essence

SF