So Your Brand Sort Of Made It...Now What?
“In all mental workings, effort defeats itself.” -Brian Tracy
I’ve never seen anyone talk about one of the biggest frustrations I’ve ever faced when growing my business. I call it the “Nothing Blues.” It’s that deep sense of unease and frustration that arises when you're caught in the liminal space of inactivity or uncertainty. It's that nagging feeling of not knowing what to do next— despite all the external markers of success that suggest you’ve made it. During the early days of my business, nothing drove me more insane than all the times I was confronted with that probing question: WTF should I be doing right now?
This question hovered over me multiple times throughout the week and had an impeccable sense of timing. Like during a 12p.m. joy ride to Target, or midway through a half a dozen Cape May Salts and an afternoon truffle fry. All of a sudden the sting of my happy-hour Sauv would transform into a gaping pit in my stomach. Is my company going to hell because I don’t have anything better to do right now?
I had never imagined what my daily schedule as a founder would consist of outside of fantasy. Admittedly, I just kind of just saw the end — me rushing from car to car, always mic’d, somehow making my way to The Met dressed by LaQuan Smith, specifically. Sometimes, I’d sit in my emerald green arm chair talking to myself and pretending I was being interviewed by Guy Raz. “Ladies and gentlemen, Essence Iman, of The Established,” he’d say. I’d smile demurely and wave to my empty living room.
In real life, working for my business full-time did take some getting used to, as it was so uncharted. I was first gen, and at the time, I didn’t know any other entrepreneurs—plus becoming a viral success overnight didn’t exactly come with a playbook. But I will say that in those earliest days, I was having a lot of fun with what my life had become, and it’s the only time I felt as shameless as I did about it.
On more routine days, I’d listen to my morning get money playlist (dropping here soon), do my beauty routine, head down to the basement to pack orders and be done by noon. I’d then swing by the post office before settling in at White Dog Cafe’s Haverford location for the caviar topped deviled eggs, my usual.
On less regimented days I spent a lot of time idly, which could range from going for a midday hike while my phone buzzed with Shopify dings, or recovering from liposuction and right-side cheek filler (which my mother found unamusing—I was still living with her at the time).
This joy of freedom lasted me through the summer—and by autumn things started to feel a little more serious.
I do recognize that I had such a gorgeous life then and even today, I think of my pre-Los Angeles years quite fondly.
Due to the success of my company, I lived in an incredible penthouse loft (with a rock climbing wall I, sadly, never used). I arose at my leisure. I’d walk around the corner to spend $6 on a peppercorn latte—even though I had a perfectly fine espresso machine and pepper at home—and I’d start work no earlier than 10am.
But despite the freedom and autonomy of entrepreneurship, I started to grow trapped in frustration, unsure of how to fill my days meaningfully as it related to growing the business.
In the hundreds of founder interviews I had studied since before becoming full-time myself, there was always a common thread: that no two days looked alike—but wtf did that actually mean? No How I Built This episode had ever given me true insight as to how I should prioritize my work or what I should be doing with myself as opposed to twiddling my french tips.
I only learned as I started experiencing it — that founderhood really wasn’t all late nights and hustle. You’re not exactly running from room to room with your wig shifted to hurry up and plug up your laptop for your fourth Zoom.
The truth was that a lot of my early journey was laced with some pretty boring days. Although the demands of my business did stretch, it wasn’t quite at the full-time work level. What was I to fill eight hours a day with? Packing orders didn’t take nearly that amount of time and it wasn’t every day that I was scheduled for a meeting.
This left just enough room for the Nothing Blues to creep in and become a threat to my peace of mind. It was a paralysis worse than decision fatigue. What do you when you don’t know what else to do?
I really started to overthink on a solution. Some days, I felt like I was going out of my mind from the stickiness. My shoulders were always hunched, jaw was always clenched, and I carried so much tension in my head to the point of lightheadedness.
In the mornings, and always around 11 a.m., my brief few hours of calm would evolve into a frenzy of frustration from being plagued by the constant low hum of nothingness— so much so that I’d either have to sit or lay down to convince myself I wasn’t somehow completely failing at life. Then I’d feel guilty for laying down, so I’d go on Instagram and scroll for inspiration, because I couldn’t just be doing nothing. I’d think, “I’m just frustrated because I haven’t posted anything today,” a belief I clung to whenever I needed to shake the guilt.
On more challenging days, I’d go for a walk hoping to be struck by some Godly source of inspiration. My walk would quickly turn into a run whenever I thought about how I could stretch my budget any further to possibly spark a new flame.
Add to this my all-or-nothing, high-intensity work style, which I know now was super unhelpful. I’d swing from slow days —paralyzed from feeling stuck and not knowing what to focus on—to crazy 12-hour workdays, racing to the post office minutes before closing and not even having my first bite to eat until 8 p.m. as if to punish myself to make up for the days I did less.
In one of my favorite books Psychocybernetics, the author Maxwell Maltz writes —
“Many people make the mistake of interfering with their success mechanism by demanding the how before a goal is clearly established. After you’ve formed a mental image of the goal you seek to create, the how will come to you, not before. Remain calm and relaxed and the answers will arrive. Any attempt to force the ideas to come will not work.”
In other words, your goal when building your business should actually be to make things easier on yourself. Your plate should be as empty as possible. That grit—while rewarding in the beginning—is a slippery slope. And I know now that you can’t give it a reason for it to stick around longer than it should. The real work isn’t about doing more, it’s about being mindful of where you’re directing your energy. That could look like mapping out a goal to gain X amount of followers, or website visitors, or hitting a specific outreach milestone. Nothing you strive for is insignificant. The work will teach you how to do it.
Also — who do you know that’s rich that actually works 8 hours a day?
It took years for me to accept: not every moment requires rapid action. Sometimes, my best ideas did emerge during a simple Target run or while indulging in those hedonistic moments of an afternoon wine and truffle fry break. In those moments of idleness, I often did find clarity — I just wasn’t willing to embrace the effortless manner of it, or the how in which it came.
When I think about it today, the days I’ve made the most money in my business have always come to me while I was out, enjoying my life and not expecting it. Boredom and rest have now become so ineluctable and enticing to me today, they’re at the center of every career move I make and I’m here to tell the tale that I have not suffered.
Today when I feel stuck, I’m mindful that it’s not truly stagnation—sometimes, my strides just take a quieter form.
Things you can do if you’re feeling stuck in your business (in no order):
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE (being home for too long is enemy #1)
Get a hobby?
Make a list of all of your past successes
Do 10,000 loop affirmations (5 minutes x 10 times a day) —this creates a new neural pathway in the brain to positively reinforce the affirmation
Get a PT job
Voice-record all your thoughts and save the material for Netflix
Set daily micro-goals
And just some additional notes going forward:
Stop looking to validate that you’ve earned your keep. If people know your name, it’s because you’ve earned it.
You don’t need to earn rest, you can just honor it.
Chaos as validation that you’re on your path should absolutely not be your professional goal. Please, I beg you, seek the boredom.
Think in terms of the end result and the means will often take care of themselves.
Our minds and our bodies are built to receive rest. Not much there has changed throughout the course of human history.
Forcing ideas and solutions can lead to frustration and block creativity; instead, remain calm and relaxed allowing for inspiration and clarity to emerge.
and lastly….
Don’t burn out your battery, over nothing — you’re gonna need it.
This is amazing!!