Let's Talk About Touchland's Asinine >$1B Acquisition

I literally just text my group chat:

“Ain’t a pair of clean hands in the WORLD.”

Church & Dwight (Hero Cosmetics, Nair, Batiste and Arm & Hammer) just announced it’s acquiring viral hand sanitizer brand Touchland for $700 million, with an earn-out that could push the deal to $880 million contingent upon 2025 net sales. That’s a lottttta zeros for alcohol…